Been feeling a little down today.   I didn’t run last night and I’m procrastinating doing it now!

Quite frankly, this is normally one of the happiest times of the year for me.   I love Halloween!!!  I love everything about it!!!..ever since I was a kid, Halloween has brought me such great joy and as I grew into an adult, I’ve not only passed that love on to my kids, I have expanded my love for the “holiday” to span across three days, All Hollow’s Eve, All Saints Day and All Souls Day…more specifically, celebrating what is known in Latin cultures as Día de los Muertos (day of the day).   I first learned about this tradition while I was visiting one of my best friends in Albuquerque, NM many many years ago.  At first, my love for the day was more a draw to the macabre figurines that are used to celebrate the holiday.


As I learned more about the tradition,  I realize it was a true celebration; a day of respect and honor for those who have passed on and for whom we still remember and love…yeah, the Aztec beginnings of this day have been bastardized and forced to meld with the catholic feast days (and just so you know…that’s said with levity out of sarcasm – hate that I have to explain that but I’m sure there will be someone offended by that statement if I don’t clarify) but the thing is…in the end, it’s a day set aside for us to remember the people who we love and miss so much since leaving this earth (and our lives)….for me, I feel so comforted by the idea of having a day devoted to remembering my Aunt Claire and what she meant to me when she was alive.   I read somewhere that on this day, the planes between the worlds of the dead and the living collide and there is a potential to lure your loved ones back by creating alters dedicated to them and filling the alters with things that they loved while they were living…last year, I created an alter for my Aunt Claire…I made Brandy Alexanders and put out photos of her and decorated the alter with flowers and my “day of the dead”  figurines….when I told my told my brother about it he said, “hey, if she comes back, ask her if we can have her meatball recipe.”  He cracks me up…but the thing is, she truly touched everyone who knew her.   She was our matriarch…she was the glue that held our entire extended family together….she was nothing short of amazing and I loved her with all my heart….and I loved making that alter for her…even if she wasn’t going to pay me a visit and reveal her meatball recipe to me, I loved spending the time that I did, making that alter to remember her.

In addition to having the alter dedicate to my Aunt Claire,  the person I was dating at the time…the person who I loved so dearly, had shared space on the alter for his father who had just recently passed away….we joked about how if both he and my aunt came back and met each other how much they would have enjoyed each other’s company.   I never got to meet his father before he passed away, but I was told about what a character he was….and if even half the stories I was told were true, my Aunt would have most certainly enjoined hanging out with him, having a cocktail or ten….(she liked the drink; we were kindred sprits for sure).

Sadly though, this year I didn’t put up the alter….I didn’t even put out my Halloween decorations.   I find myself still in this state of emptiness trying like hell to fake being better long enough that I can even convince myself of it….I’m sorry Aunt Claire for dropping the ball this year…but please know that I still will be thinking of you…wishing I could see you again…cuz in the words of Carly Simon,  “It would be so fine to see your face at my door.”  I miss you lady!

So far away; Doesn’t anybody stay in one place any more?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door;
Doesn’t help to know you’re just time away;
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood;
Holding you again could only do me good;
How I wish I could, but you’re so far away

One more song about movin’ along the highway;
Can’t say much of anything that’s new;
If I could only work this life out my way;
I’d rather spend it bein’ close to you;

But you’re so far away, doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door;
Doesn’t help to know you’re so far away
Yay-uh-ay-eee; Oh, so far away

Travelin’ around sure gets me down and lonely;
Nothin’ else to do but close my mind;
I sure hope the road don’t come to own me;
Yet so many dreams I’ve yet to find;

But you’re so far away, doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door;
And it doesn’t help to know you’re so far away