Okay…so now that the race is over, I’m finding it hard to keep up my commitment to running.   I have been toying with the idea of doing another marathon to keep me focused through the winter…it’s part of this “I’m turning 50 and I need something to make me feel like I’m still alive” kinda thing.  Shit man, I’m turning 50!!!  WTF??? When did I become old?

Anyway…this year (2015), has been one of the worst years in my most recent history…the last time I’ve had an even worse year was 2005….Maybe it has something to do with years ending in “5?”….interestingly enough…I was born in one of those years.

But, whatever…so to marathon or not to marathon..that is the real question here.   I think it’s probably the best thing for me to do right now.   I need to keep my head clear and focused on something that is positive and challenging….see, as I mentioned in my last post, I broke up with someone (or more accurately, he broke up with me) this past April…someone I cared very deeply for and now I find myself in this weird place….like, it might sound really stupid but the person I had spent the last two years with was someone I learned to love…and though that might not sound like a big deal to most, it was the first time that I felt that way about anyone besides my kids…and as a result, I have been dealing with emotions and feelings that most people learn to deal with in young adulthood….so like everything else in my life, the timing of it was all ass backwards…though, like all shitty things that happen in life, there are secondary effects that become life changing and very positive…like being able to reconnect with my kids, learning to forgive my mother, learning how to play guitar and you know…shit like that.   So, I move forward, trying to make the best of a very very shitty situation and not let it take over me;  making me become a bitter old Miss Havisham.  Nope, I’m gonna be like Pip and become a better man in the wake of ruined expectations and plan to run another marathon…cuz you know, that’s what you do when you need to readjust your course, right?

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To be honest….i have to admit, that running has been the one constant that has helped me though a lot of situations…and damn, I’ve been such a bad girlfriend….like, I never really seem to appreciate what running brings to the table…. it’s always been there for me…it makes me feel happy and alive; it’s soooo good for me….my blood pressure is awesome, my cholesterol is amazing, my pulse is fantastic for someone who’s 50…like what more could I want from a relationship?  I’m sorry baby…I promise I’ll do better by loving and appreciating all you’ve been to me…

So…now I just need to decide which marathon….the two that I’ve been thinking about doing (rock ‘n roll DC and the Shamrock in VA Beach) are both in the March timeframe so I have a little time left to decide….in the meantime, check out how beautiful the trees were on Sunday..on my short Sunday run…like what could be more soul inspiring?????

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Till next time buttercups..keep on keeping on…

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