Greetings my little Fox Trots!

For the past week or so I’ve been perusing the Internet searching for some advice and/or tips on how to get over this whole hamstring debacle. And, as with any kinda search on the Internet, on any subject …such as “how do I know if I have gout” there are always a few sites that offer some helpful information but for everyone one good site, there are a gazillion ridiculous sites offering nothing but useless information.

Case in point, I came across this one site, it was actually, and the title of the article was, “Race Day Tips for Your First Road Race.” I know is just a generic site that tries to do its best at giving readers basic information about a very broad range of topics…but come on, the information in that article was trifling. They listed “tips” in like a top 10 kind of way and no fool’n, number 4 was “Pin Your Bib.” Really??? I mean if you couldn’t figure that one out on your own, I think you might have bigger issues than knowing how to get ready for a road race. I’m just say’n. I think should just give up on trying to be legit and go full blown stupid and offer a list that is, at the very least, entertaining. If I was the content manager for here’s how my running tips list would go :

Running Dos and Don’ts by LR.

10. Don’t go to happy hour and smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds the Friday before a Sunday morning Marathon (you laugh but I actually did that…and then I wondered why I didn’t finish the MCM in 2000).
9. Don’t show up late for the race…it puts way too much pressure on you. Again, you laugh but I also did this one. My very first race ever I ran, I showed up several minutes after the gun went off. The race director shook his head in disgust and said, “You better hurry up or you’ll be the last one to cross the finish line as well.”
8. Don’t run a marathon in new shoes. Needless to say, I learned this one the hard way….I have a pointy baby toe to this day!
7. Don’t run a race hammered; it’s just a bad idea all the way around.
6. Do, ALWAYS remember to use body glide if you have chubby legs.
5. Do try NOT to have bronchitis or dysentery on the day of any race.
4. Don’t try GU for the first time on a long run.
3. Don’t, under any circumstance, EVER sit down on the seat in a port a john. This lesson learned was so damaging I think I still suffer from PTSD. Don’t judge…I had just run 23 miles and my legs were tired.
2. Don’t run a race with a coworker you don’t know very well – the competition can be damaging to an otherwise friendly working relationship.
1. Do learn how to snot rocket. It is prolly the single most important tip for any new runner.

So there ya have it…the beginning runner’s dos and don’ts list as proclaimed by LR.
Tell next time my little Cha Chas….keep on runn’n!